C Bb C Bb
C-c-c c'mon, c-c-c- c'mon,
Go, go
C Bb C Bb
C-c-c c'mon, c-c-c- c'mon,
Go, go
Verse
C Bb C
I'm waiting for my porno to load
C Bb C
My brain is gonna freakin' explode
C Bb C
And now, of course, it's time to hit the road
A E C
Which means I'll be uncomfortable all day
Bb C
But that really isn't such a change
C Bb C
If I'm not feeling weird or super strange
A E F
My life would be in utter disarray
F G
'Cause freaking out is my okay
F G C
Good morning time to start the day!
C Bb C Bb
C-c-c c'mon, c-c-c- c'mon,
Go, go
C Bb C Bb
C-c-c c'mon, c-c-c- c'mon,
Go, go
Verse
A G A
Should I take a bus or walk instead?
A G A
I feel my stomach filling up with dread
A G A
When I get nervous my whole face goes red
Dm E
Dude, weigh the options calmly and be still
A G A
A junior on the bus is killer weak
A G A
But if I walk when I arrive I'm gonna straight up reek
A G A
And my boxers will be bunchy and my pits will leak
Dm E
Ugh, God, I wish I had the skill
F G C
To just be fine and cool and chill
F
I don't wanna be a hero
G Am
Just wanna stay in the line
F
I'll never be your Rob DeNiro
G Am
For me Joe Pesci is fine
F
So I follow my own rules
G
And I use them as my tools
E Am
To stay alive
Dm F
I don't wanna be special, no, no
G
I just wanna survive
C Bb C Bb
C-c-c c'mon, c-c-c- c'mon,
Go, go
C Bb C Bb
C-c-c c'mon, c-c-c- c'mon,
Go, go
Verse
C Bb C
I navigate the dangerous hall
C Bb C
Focus on a poster there on the wall
C Bb C
Avoiding any eye contact at all
A E C
And trying hard to remain unseen
C Bb C
The poster's closer now, what does it say?
C Bb C
It's a sign-up for the after-school play
C Bb C
It's a sign-up sheet for getting called gay
A E
And that's not what I need right now
F
End scene
G
I hang a left and there's
C
Christine...
G
Christine...
Bb
Christine...
F
Christine Canigula
C
Christine...
Verse
A G
Well, that was smooth
A
Yeah, that was super pimp
A G A
My Mac Daddy game couldn't be more limp
Dm E F
No time to wallow, no, instead,
G F
Just clear your brain and move ahead
G F
Accept that you're one of those guys
G C
Who'll be a virgin 'til he dies
F
I don't wanna be a baller
G C
Just want some skills to count on
F
If my nuts were any smaller
G C
They would be totally gone
F
If I continue at this rate
G
The only thing I'll ever date
E Am
Is my MacBook Pro hard drive
Dm F
I don't wanna be Clooney, no, no
G
I just wanna survive
Michael!
Verse
A
Jeremy, my buddy
D
How's it hanging?
G
Lunch is banging
A
Had my sushi,
E
Got my slushie and more!
A
The roll was meki maki
D
And I'm feeling kinda cocky
G E
'Cause that girl at Sev' Elev' gave me a generous pour
A
Oh, I'm listening to Marley
D
And the groove is sounding gnarly
A E
And we're almost at the end of this song
A
Yeah, that was the end
D
Now tell me friend
G
How was class?
D
You look like ass
A
What's wrong?
Verse
C
Christine...
G
Christine...
Bb
Christine...
F
Christine Canigula
C
Christine...
G
Christine...
Bb
Christine...
F
Christine Canigula
F G
Christine Canigula
Bridge
C
I feel my body moving through the air
F
See my converse walking over there
G
Take a shaky breath and I prepare
F G F
Who cares if people think I'm lame
F G
Christine signed, I'll do the same
F G
I grab the pen, I write my name
F
I'm never gonna be the cool guy
G Am
I'm more the one who's left out
F
Of all the characters at school
G Am F
I am not the one who the story's about
Em A
Why can't someone just help me out
Dm F
And teach me how to thrive
Dm G F
Help me to more than survive!
Outro
G Am F
More than survive!
G Am F
More than survive!
F
If this was an apocalypse
G
I would not need any tips
E Am
In how to stay alive
Dm G
But since the zombie army's yet to descend
Dm G
And the period is going to end
Dm F G
I'm just trying my best to pass the test and
C
Survive!
Bb C
Survive!
C Bb C Bb
C-c-c c'mon, c-c-c- c'mon,
Go, go
C Bb C Bb
C-c-c c'mon, c-c-c- c'mon,
C
Go, go!