The Loophole Chords
The Loophole by Garfunkel And Oates is a moderately challenging guitar song played in the key of D with a capo on the 3st fret. It uses the chords D, G, A, Bm and E. Use the transpose and diagram tools on this page to change the key, see each shape, or simplify the chords.
D G
All my life I've been good
D A
Do what my mom and dad and God say I should
D G
Go to church and Bible School
A D
To live by God's rule
Bm
So whatever people tell me
Bm A
That The Bible tells me
D
I will do
D G
Walk the halls at my school with my purity ring
Bm E
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
D G
It was easy to do until I got a boyfriend
Bm E
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck
D G
And I made a pact
D G
To keep my hymen intact
G A
And Jesus and I are tight
D G
Never learned about the birds and the bees
Bm E
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
D G
'Cause The Bible says premarital sex is wrong
Bm E
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long
G D
I don't want to lose him
G D
To someone who'll do him
G A
I need to figure something out
D G
Well there's a loophole in The Scripture that works really well
Bm E
So I can get him off without going to hell
D G
It's my Hail Mary, full of grace
Bm E
In Jesus' name we go to fifth base!
Bm E
Oh thank you for making me holy
Bm E
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
G A
And since I'm not a godless whore
G A
He'll have to come in the back door
Therefore
D G
Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus
Bm G A
The good Lord would want it that way
D E G E
Get that sweet sensation a throbbing rationalization
G A
It's just between you and me
G A D
'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
D G
It's hard to be as pure as me
Bm A
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
D G
To wait until my marriage bed
Bm A
To give my husband my unsullied maiden head
G D
So take your cock out
G D
Shove it in my ass
G A
Fuck me until you come
G D
Oops! I mean let's join our souls
G D
And unite our bodies
G A
And fly with the wings of God
D G
Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris
Bm A
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this
D G
And no prophylactics when you put it in
Bm E
'Cause birth control's for sluts and it's a sin
G D
I've emptied my bowels
G D
And laid out the towels
G A
I'm ready for romance
D G
Now I'm praying to the Power that's the Highest
Bm A
But of all of my holes, this ones the driest
D G
And we can't procreate if we anal copulate
Bm E
And God is OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight
G D
And I'm staying pure, no matter what
G A
So I'm OK with everything butt
Everything butt
Everything butt
Whoa-oh
D G
Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus
Bm G A
The good Lord would want it that way
D E G E
Get that sweet sensation a rock hard rationalization
G A
It's just between you and me
G A D
'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Bm E
I do whatever The Bible tells me to
Bm A
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Bm A
Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient
Bm E
But the rest I live by for sure
G A
So let's not talk about how the Good Book bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
G A
And how it condones slavery and killing gays because those parts don't happen of course
E G
Let's cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and (line up for ambiguities as omissions?)
A Bm
And circumvent any real sacrifice, and still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted
E
positions
D A Bm
And don't you dare question my convictions
E G
And don't look closely at the contradictions
D A Bm
And just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
E G
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
E
As the only way to measure if you're good or not
And when you're in a debate, just say to ?have faith?
A
Because when you're up against logic it's the only card you've got
G
So close your eyes
A
Take a deep breath
And..
D G
Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus
Bm G A
The good Lord would want it that way
D E G E
Get that sweet sensation an irrational rationalization
G A
It's just between you and me
G A E
'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
G A
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
G A D
So sometimes you need to think outside the box