Intro F Em C
verse 1
F C
I remember looking around a hospital waiting room
F C
Full of people all absorbed in their own personal catastrophes
F C
All reading books like Being Mortal, all with a look in their eyes
G
And I remember still feeling like, "No, no one can understand"
"No, my devastation is unique"
C
But people get cancer and die
G
People get hit by trucks and die
F
People just living their lives
Get erased for no reason
Em G
With the rest of us watching from the side
C
And some people have to survive
G
And find a way to feel lucky to still be alive
F
To sleep through the night
verse 2
Em G F
I wrote down all the details of how my house fell apart
F
How the person I loved got killed by a bad disease
Out of nowhere for no reason and me living in the blast zone
Am
With our daughter and etcetera
I made these songs
C
And the next thing I knew I was standing in the dirt
Under the desert sky at night outside Phoenix
Am
At a music festival that had paid to fly me in
To play these death songs to a bunch of young people on drugs
C
Standing in the dust next to an idling bus
With Skrillex inside and the sound of subwoofers in the distance
Am
I had stayed up til three
Am
Talking to Weyes Blood and Father John Misty
About songwriting in the backstage bungalows
C
Eating fruit and jumping on the bed like lost children
Exploding across the earth in a self-indulgent all-consuming
Am
Wreck of ideas that blot out the stars
To be still alive felt so absurd
C
People get cancer and die
G
People get hit by trucks and die
F
People just living their lives get erased for no reason
Em G
With the rest of us averting our eyes
Interlude
C G F
Bridge
Em C
When I was leaning on Skrillex's tour bus waiting for the hotel shuttle in the middle of the night
Am
I barely knew who I was
Em
I looked up and saw Orion wielding a club and a shield
And there you were again:
G
Majestic dead wife
Am
As my grief becomes calcified, frozen in stories
And in these songs I keep singing, numbing it down
G
The unsingable real memories of you
And the feral eruptions of sobbing
F Em C
These waves hit less frequently
F Em C
They thin and then they are gone
F Em C
You are gone and then your echo is gone
F Em C
And then the crying is gone
C
And what is left but this merchandise?
Interlude
F Em C
Outro
F Em F Em C
This is what my life feels like now
F Em
Like I got abruptly dropped off by the side of the road
C
In the middle of a long horrible ride
F Em C F
In a hot van that was too full of confident chattering dudes
G C F Em C
And the sound of tires receding
G F Em
Taking in the night air I say
C
"Now only"