Gatesy: Okay, there was Footloose, Pauline Hanson in gaol, alpacas, pickles, T-shirts with stupid phrases on them... Scod: Specifically, "Kiss Me Then Pork Me". Gatesy: Yeah, that's the one. And it's sort of a Beach Boys thing... more from the "pet sounds" era... Yon: Less than the "surf's up"... well, I dunno, "surf's up" is later... let's not get bogged down in Beach Boys history. Gatesy: And there's a little bit of Beastie Boys in there too. G G Am E Tripod: If it is true that there's just six degrees of near, F C D Why am I so lonely? G Am E I drift from town to town nomadically. F C D Gatesy: Nobody wants me, 'cause fame is so fickle, F C If this town's a burger, D(let ring) Tripod: Then I am the pickle. Scod: It's about Kevin Bacon, by the way. D G Yon: 'Cause I get thrown out of the town, G & S: Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh... D G Yon: Like the burger, you know, sliding down the... I'll leave that. G & S: Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh... C D Tripod: Such a shame that I got arrested, G G7 Gatesy: For wearing an obscene T-shirt. C D All it said was, "Kiss Me Then Pork Me", G G7 It's just 'cause my name is... C D Tripod: ... Kevin Baco___n, Em C Kevin Baco____n. C D G It's a joke I'm maki_______n'... Gatesy: Bacon - pork... get it? G Am E Tripod: But they didn't get it and I'm sittin' here in gaol, F C D Doin' the hand-spider movement. Yon: People who weren't at this gig will never get this joke... get over it. G Am E Tripod: I had to bunk up with a former politician, F C D Gatesy: I use that term rather liberally. F C D Then Pauline busted some rhymes for me. Gatesy: (Rapping) You feelin' like you failed, Now ya sittin' in gaol, The only thing you have for a toilet is a pail. But Kevin, stop dancin' And listen to me, I'm Pauline Hanson, I'll get ya out of here, gotta listen to my plan, son. Yon: (Normally) Okay, so now she starts talking. Okay, so what there is is, right... Gatesy: Why have you stopped bustin' out the rhymes, man? Yon: 'Cause there's a lot of information in this next bit and I think it'll be a bit clearer if I... Gatesy: Okay, before you tell me that, can I just do another chorus? Yon: Yeah. C D Tripod: Kevin Bacon, Em C Kevin Bacon. C D G It's a joke I'm makin'... Gatesy: Get it? Yon: No, no, I don't get it. Are you making fun of me? Gatesy: No, no, I'm not making fun of you, Pauline. Yon: 'Cause... 'cause I know what xenophobia is - it's making fun of the Chinese. Gatesy: No! Pauline... Pauline, tell me about that plan. Yon: Oh, yeah... Gatesy: About escaping, yeah? Yon: Yeah. Okay, so there's an alpaca, right? You know, you probably see him around - the gaol alpaca. Gatesy: Oh, the gaol alpaca! Yon: And I reckon if you can get him up to about 70 miles per hour, I reckon you can clear that fence. You know, Steve McQueen-like. Gatesy: Cool. Fantastic. Yon: That's basically it. G Am E Tripod: So I jumped on the thing that looked just like a camel, F C D Mixed with a deer or a pony. G Am E I rode off into the sunset with my alpaca, F C D I was no longer alone-y. D G Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh... D G Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh... C D It's such a shame that I got arrested, G Em For wearing an obscene T-shirt. Em D All it said was, "Kiss Me Then Pork Me", G Gatesy: It's just 'cause my name is... C D Tripod: ... Kevin Bacon, Em C I'm not fakin', C D Gatesy: I'm making a statemen', G G G G C C G I'm Kevin Bacon!