Play this a few times:
D-------0-2-0-------
A-0-2-4-------4-2-0-
E-------------------
(Tenors warming up, same notes as above)
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Kermit: Scooter, Scooter! Go and get The Three Tenors,
they're on in two minutes.
Scooter: (knocks)Two muinutes Mr Pavarot, er, Mr Plac, er Mr Tenors
Placibo: Scooter, close the door. Here, here, sit on my lap. You furry four
eyed munchkin! I cannot resist you!
Another Tenor: Placibo! Not now.
You can't leave him in a room with a puppet for one second!
Ah, remember the Seseme Street incident.
Scooter: Er, I'll just tell Kermit you're ready
Kermit: It's The Muppet Show! And here now on stage singing Aria Sixteen from Tossanini-
Floyd: Ah, Kermit?
K: Yeah Floyd?
Floyd: We can't play this Oprah crap!
K: Well what can you do?
Floyd: Well I've got, all I've got is a Jewl song book.
K: Jewl, oh, OK then.
(Tenors stert to sing)
A E
I've never met, a man-ah like-ah you before
F#m C#m
You make me feel like a woman
D A Bm E
Oh and you touch my long blond hair, and read my poetry, the things you do to me
A E F#m A
I'm a young attractive blond who sing country songs
D A E
To a lonesome country girl this city is tough
A C#m F#m C#m D
It's all about the music, stop looking at my cleavage
A E A
Unlike Kasey Chambers I am pretty enough, I am pretty enough.
(keep stumming A and D)
Kermit, are we getting away with this?
K: Absolutely!
Old Heckler: Hey Stavler. Why are there three fat men pretending to be a blond woman?
Stavler: Ah, 'cause their fat? Ha ha ha ha ha. What?
Miss Piggy: Hey, you can't sing about being blond! There's only one blond on this show: Moi,
Miss Piggy, that's right, Miss Piggy
A E
I've never met a frog like you before
F#m C#m
You made me feel like a pig slash woman
D A Bm
When you point your duel resolution I triple E 1 3 9 4 P C video camera at me
E
It's extasy
(keep stumming A and D)
Tenor: Did he get a nice shot of your kankles?
MP: What!?
Tenor: You know, the fatty deposites between the foot an the calf.
MP: WHAT?!!
Tenor: You know, the wrinkley, bulbous, fatty, discusting-
MP: Alright, that's it oprah boy, HI-YA!
K:Oh no! We've only got two tenors!
MP: HI-YA!
K: Oh we've only got one left!
MP: HI-YA!
K: We're all out of tenors! We've gotta find someone with extensive
experience working with puppets-
Scod & Yon: C'mon Gatesy
Gatesy: No no no, it was a long time ago
Scod: Gatesy we know you can do it mate
Gatesy: No no way it was a long time a-(sucks it in)
Billabonga!
A E F#m C#m
I'm a young magical swagman with a pet bunyip
D A E
If you've seen that show it was a bit of a farce
A E F#m C#m
I was young I was in love I needed the money
D A E
When you're in the public eye your past always bites you on the arse
A______________
Bites you on the a___________rse